Flowers spotted on this morning’s run with Pippa Cordelia.
That blog title might be a little misleading, but it has a nice ring to it! Plus I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist reading this.
Let’s preface this little essay by saying, as most of you know, I am fairly actively looking for a job outside of the home. Yes, I’m being picky because I’m unwilling to commute, and I really just want to teach elementary students. However, I’ve easily applied for at least several hundred jobs with very minimal success. I also consider myself to be entrepreneur and a small business owner who currently makes $0 annually. I actually lose money on a monthly basis supporting my various projects, not to mention the time and creative energy I pour into them.
So why am I writing this post? Well, partly to encourage myself. But also because this week an acquaintance of Kevin’s asked him when I’m going to become a barista. Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a baristas. In fact, the world would be a terrible, horrible place without them. Perhaps I’m being sensitive, but I felt he meant it in a condescending way, knowing that I have a Master of Education degree and a fairly respectable résumé. Since I’m young and impressionable, this offhanded comment sent me into a renewed frenzy looking for a job. (I’ve since cooled down with the help of some puppy therapy!)
Let’s review how I got to this point in the first place. We’ll start at the beginning.
My first job was a paper route. I’m not sure exactly how old I was, but I was under 12! I continued to be a per girl until I was 14. Then I was old enough to wash dishes in the hospital cafeteria. I also worked taking care of a special needs child during high school. I worked my way through college working in the school cafeteria and at a bank.
I managed to graduate from Bible college unattached, footloose, and fancy-free! I have no idea why they are still making me pay back my student loads. All joking aside, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to pursue teaching wherever in the world I wanted! My parents raised me with a heart for world missions and that passion was reinforced through several experiences in college. I began to pursue positions working overseas and ended up in the beautiful Dominican Republic - truly my second homeland.
I miss my tan a little bit too!!
I taught there for one year before meeting the love of my life, Kevin James. Some of you may not know this but we actually dated for two years long distance. Ouch!!! It was actually painful. We visited each other as often as we could, but would often go for 3+ months without seeing each other!!!
Best Boyfriend Ever!
On Thanksgiving Day 2010, after Thanksgiving dinner and a DIY turkey trot, Kevin proposed. Of course, this meant we could no longer feasibly live in different countries. When you are in a LDR, all you can do is talk so we had many conversations about what we should do. It was truly a difficult decision, because I was very passionate about what I was doing. However, call us traditional, but we knew that it wasn’t going to work for us to have me be the breadwinner. So I moved back to Minnesota where both us grew up and where Kevin was still working.
Staying as close to the cake as possible!
We got married almost immediately after I moved back to the States, and the plan was for me to work on transferring my teaching license to Minnesota to find a job there. Wrong. During our honeymoon, Kevin got the call that his office in Winona was closing and they wanted him to move to Colorado. It was a difficult decision to make especially because all of our family lives in Minnesota, but after talking about it and praying it over we made the decision to move to Denver! (Where everyone promised the winter would be milder, but it totally wasn’t! It was awful!!!!!!).
Little Miss Business looking smart in navy!
The company Kevin works for offered me a temporary job while I worked on getting a Colorado teaching license (tests! paperwork! headaches! tears!). I can’t believe it, but I ended up working there for over 6 months! I was bored to death working a desk job, but I made good friends with my co-workers and loved baking for them! I can’t even begin to explain what happened next, but we definitely had a little uncertainty about how long we would be sticking around in Denver.
As of now, Kevin is under contract with his job until (at least) August 2013, and we bought a house! So that’s a little a bit of a commitment! I quit my day job on July 2 due to the commute from our new house. I just couldn’t take adding almost 3 hours (commute & lunch hour) to an already long and boring day. Of course, we were hoping that something would turn up for me in my field now that I have a CO teaching license.
When I quit my job, I had so many different people ask me very personal questions and express their concern that we were going to have financial problems. I know this is not 100% normal in America in 2012, but we are pretty committed to adjusting our standard of living based on just one income. We were 26 & 29 when we got married and supporting ourselves completely fine. My husband is the finance genius, but it doesn’t take one to know that unless you make some pretty serious adjustments, it doesn’t cost double to support two people! Yeah, I know this isn’t the same for everyone.We both came into the relationship with a good “financial background” and very minimal debt. We both managed to get our employers to pay for the majority of our graduate degrees! So those two things definitely helped. If those things were different, would I be forced to get a job? Sure. Maybe I’d be working at a preschool (pre-k is definitely not my strength!) or whatever to help make ends meet. But that’s how things went down for us.
So let’s get to the real topic.
What are the pros & cons of being a SAHW?
Pros:
- Household stress level is much, much better. When I was working, we’d both come home from work and go to the gym. We’d get home around 8 and still have to shower, and then start making to dinner. Not a lot of time to get things done which is tough since we moved like 4 times during this past year.
- Meals! Planned!! Healthier! Less money wasted
- I can take care of everything. I am the despot of the home. The sheets actually get washed. The dogs aren’t alone for 11 hours a day. I even mow the lawn!
- I make bento box lunches!
- I have time to work on my creative side projects – blogging, piano, etc. I love doing these things.
- I have a flexible schedule and can “take days off” whenever Kevin does!
- I can also take care of planning all our home improvements and our social calendar.
- Kevin loves it, and is 100% supportive. I am blessed by the opportunity to bless him. By the grace of God, I have the utmost faith in our marriage and nothing to worry about as far as the goes.
- More quality time with Kevin.
- It’s so humbling for me. Yes. I’m putting that as pro. Definitely stings my pride. But 1 Peter 5:5 says: Clothe yourselves with humility towards each because “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Cons:
- I know people mean it lovingly, but it does get a little tiring being asked how the job search is going. That’s probably my #1 con. That’s a personality problem, right?
- I’m actually not good at a lot of household chores — like ironing. I still need to learn that one!
- I miss teaching.
- I sometimes get sad and feel like I’m not using my mad skills.
- I want to buy more shoes. Yes, that sounds materialistic, but my pointy heels are in pretty sad disrepair. Kevin would let me buy new shoes. But I just bought a bunch of stuff for Pippa so I like to spread things out a bit.
- I’m so not a couponer!
Neutral: Human interaction. I am definitely cool with being alone all day. Especially with 2 dogs. Plus at the very least, I’m in the gym every day. I know this would bother some people, but it’s not a problem for me.
So I never expected myself to be a SAHW, but apparently this is a season that the Lord had in mind for me. I hope that I can take it as the blessing it is rather than wishing it away.I can’t help but think that no one would be questioning this if I had kids. Haha. That’s an easy out I will not be taking! Or that I don’t PLAN to take. We’ve seen how well my plans have worked out over the past year. (Isaiah 55:9)
Maybe I’ll get a call tomorrow about a job that would be the perfect fit, but until then I’m a SAHW 100%! Whatever you are, be a good one. – Abraham Lincoln
This is my favorite picture of myself. Ever!
So what do I do all day? Sit in bed and eat cereal? That’s for another day, friends, and trust me, I will be subjecting you to it. But I’m willing to bet that I waste less time now than I did while working at an office job! I can’t compare it to teaching because you waste ZERO time as a dedicated teacher. Offices are different story. The break room! Running the stairs! Office communicator! The internet! Stay tuned!
On that note, time to make dinner. 
Have you ever been unemployed/SAHW/SAHM? If not, how do you think you’d like it? I am never bored. Ever. But I also don’t get paid. Lol.
Related articles:
- Is Your Colleague’s Stay-At-Home Wife Holding You Back At Work? <—- Whoa!
- True Dating Confession: I’m A “Stay-At-Home Wife” (Without Kids) <— She gets bored. Lol.
- Stay-at-Home Dads: No More Angst. These Guys Love What They Do <— I’d probably be a huge fan if the kid was an infant. I’m not a baby person! Never gonna happen!! Haha.
Such a great post! I spent the first 6 months of our marriage “job searching” and being a SAHW.. I was so not good at it.. I think I would be better at it now though because I just can’t keep up with the laundry and meals and cleaning and being a doggy mama… To all the people that keep bothering you – the hubs and I went through a season where he was unemployed for about 8 months and if our families had brought it up one time they brought it up a thousand times… I couldnt handle it! SO enjoy it! Take care of your other half and your fur babies because when the time comes for a real baby you’ll be so happy you had this time!! it’s not about our plan and our timing it’s about His – Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you!! Your kind words are so appreciated.
What a great post! You’ve definitely thought this through. .Sounds like you’re in a great position now but maybe a new door will open up soon!
Just getting caught up here girlie, don’t sweat the SAHW stuff. Everyone who is giving you crap? They’re just jealous. Love your list of pros & cons and I totally agree with so many of them. While I love my days off, I feel so much pressure to get everything done on those days. I can imagine that if I had EVERY day off, I would constantly feel pressured to have an immaculate home, fully-stocked fridge, dinner on the table, etc. & let’s be honest, that just doesn’t even sound fun!
You’ll find a job when the time is right. Until then, live it up!!
Thanks!! I really appreciate it!
I just re-read this post for some perspective. I am job-hunting now and it’s pretty rough for me to have nowhere to go and feel useful every morning! I derive a lot of my self-worth from my career–not in the money/prestige way, but in the “I feel like I’m making a difference in the world” way, and it’s been tough to be stuck in neutral. And not see people all day…
And if another person says “You’ll miss this when you’re working full-time again” I might scream. I am trying very hard to appreciate all the free time, but I get SO bored. I’m starting volunteering tomorrow, but it’s tough to commit when I know I’ll need to leave if a paying opportunity comes around.
Thanks for reminding me that this is truly not the Worst Thing Ever. I might have to come over and meet your dogs next time I get cabin fever!
I firmly believe that their is a season and time for everything. This is your season for building a family and life foundation. Enjoy and make the most of it.
Pa Jim
Thank you for posting this. I’m a SAHW during the summer, and it looks like I won’t be hired back as a teacher this year. While I am looking for a job, I get so frustrated with people {esp. family} constantly asking how the search is going. This summer, I’ve had time to work out in the mornings, cook more, take naps, etc. Your post came at the perfect time, reminding me to let whatever is meant to happen, happen.
Thanks! I’m so glad.
I know what you mean. When I was a nanny, I hated when people would ask if I was “going to get a real job or just keep babysitting.” It was awful. I had a college degree, a year of grad school under my belt and yet I was choosing to be a part time nanny. I loved what I did and I loved that I had so much free time to volunteer with teens and outreach and at the humane shelter. I didn’t like when people made comments or assumptions about my job, but it wasn’t enough to make me want to change. And you know, working this desk job the last year has given me lots more “credence” with my peers, but the job was awful. I am so excited to have finally quit and be able to go back to doing something I love without worrying about the money. Don’t worry about what people say. Enjoy your time at home! I have another 2 weeks before I start the new job and I am stoked to be off!
love love love. I really resonate with this post as I am about to become a SAHW as well! I am soooo looking forward to it. We will have to swap stories and tips. I love this: “Kevin loves it, and is 100% supportive. I am blessed by the opportunity to bless him. By the grace of God, I have the utmost faith in our marriage and nothing to worry about as far as the goes.” because Paul is super excited about it as well. Thanks for posting…I have a lot of my own thoughts about this as well so I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
I used to think that I wanted to have a big career, but my jobs have never really fulfilled me. I think I would do fine as a SAHW – all your pros look very appealing
I sometimes dream about being a SAHW – it sounds kind of fun. I think I would be terrible at it thought, since I don’t like to do housework, garden, or anything you’re supposed to do.
I do get that feeling like I’m always wanting more weekend days! Enjoy your time at home, it sounds like you have a good balance, and I’ll try to remember never to ask how the job search is going. 
I always tell James I want to be a stay at home mom to our dog
Don’t worry, things will work out for you! And in the meantime, at least you have two adorable snuggle buddies!
You are such an amazing woman and i know you will find something that feels right. I love your wedding picture, wow you two are just adorable. I think you are being very realistic about this and I would be picky! You have already done the experimenting so now make it what you want.
Awesome post Corrie! And of course, I can relate. I went from working a full-time job, plus a part-time job, plus taking classes to QUITTING my full-time job (that I HATED) and just working at the part-time job that I LOVE. I know that people think I have it “so easy” now, and I’m not complaining- I am SO BLESSED that we are able to get by without my salary for a while and that Greg is supportive. But, I’ve still been teaching a million classes and studying anywhere from 2-6 hours a day, every day. He knows that I am extremely driven and passionate- and it’s okay to be working towards something new. Plus, I just needed a BREAK. I would have exploded from the stress I’ve carried for the last 7 years.
Just enjoy your time to discover YOU right now, and ignore people’s annoying comments. It’s no one elses’ business anyway!
And PS- our house is ALWAYS clean now. And dinners are much better, too!
Maybe you could call yourself a full-time blogger instead?
And shame on people for judging you!
That’s a great idea!!
I guess you could say that I’m a SAHW during the summer! And, I love it! Of course there are good things to actually going to work every day, but if I could I would definitely be a SAHW permanently! Or, as I’ve tried to explain to my husband… a stay at home pug mom!
I think this is such an interesting topic, and I hate when women are hard on other women for making different life choices. It doesn’t have to be the working woman versus stay at home woman. Both have their challenges and their rewards. You need to do what’s best for you and your family!
Great post- I would have been super offended by that remark about being a barista as well, simply because I AM a teacher. I think once you are a teacher, you are always a teacher (job or not)….. I have never been a stay at home wife or anything- I’ve always had a job but I’ll be on maternity leave here soon (fingers crossed) and get to see what being a stay at home mom is like for 8 weeks!
Thanks for saying that. I’ve been thinking that lately — do I still get to call myself a teacher?
Great post! I’m currently on the job hunt right now and it truly is a very tough world out there! It is great that you are able to take the path you have and take your time searching for the right fit if you do choose to get a job! I think you are awesome and if anyone doesn’t get or understand your situation well shame on them
i dream of being a stay at home mom/wife….one day!
Thanks for sharing. This was interesting to read. I wish I could work part-time. I think that would be the perfect balance. *Sigh* It’s a bit of shock teaching most of the year, and then having summers off (although back in the day, I used to teach all year by doing summer school, too). Transitioning is a little rough. But I’ve never been “stay at home” full time–I’d like to try it ou! lol. my husband would roll his eyes if he read this.
I love how you discussed the pros & cons of being a SAHW! It’s crazy how people think it’s ok to pry & ask personal questions- as long as you and Kevin aren’t after them for money, it’s none of their concern how you lead your lives! To be honest, I don’t think I’d be bored with being one- just because you’re not working, that doesn’t mean you can’t occupy your time with hobbies..and let’s be honest, taking care of a household of 2 (or more) is no easy feat!
No stay at home wifedom here, but I can relate a bit. When we both quit our jobs to move out here we got a lot of blank stares and raised eyebrows. It wasn’t exactly the best time economically speaking to walk away from solid jobs but it has worked out well for us. He has a solid, promising job and while my job isn’t exactly an ego boost it is giving me what I need right now – flexibility for school and a decent enough income. People ask a ton of questions and make far too many assumptions – and quite frankly, I think sometimes it is out of jealously. I think it is awesome that you can be a stay at home wife…I’m a tad jealous!
PS – I love the idea of wearing an apron for the cake cutting! Very cute!
I love how much your husband appreciates how well you are taking care of the family:) very sweet!!
From someone who is employed full time… I totally envy you! Between work, blogging, and training I’d love to have a little break to get stuff done sometimes.
I bet!! You’ve been crazy busy lately. I’ll try to enjoy it for everyone!
haha time to change your header! but if I could chose, I would love to be a stay at home mum. it seems so much fun compared to working all day. plus you get a lot of stuff done!
I need to add Pippa, right?!?!!!
YESSSSS! haha
Thanks for taking such good care of our family!
Ily!! <3
Awwwww…
I hate to break this to you, but when you have kids and are a stay at home you get judged just as harshly.
Lame!!! It sometimes seems lose-lose because you can also be judged for not spending enough time with your kids, right? It’s truly too bad that women can be so judgey with one another!!!
All I have to say is that I would LOVE to be a SAHW (well fiance right now!) but I can imagine how annoying it is how people think they have the BEST advice they have to share with you about getting a job… mostly because I think they are miserable in theirs and jealous of yours!
I get really stressed out because I feel like I’m never home (my day is usually 11 hours and that’s if I just go to and from work and leave on time 
…). SO I live vicariously through you! Everything happens for a reason and it’s very smart to be picky when you find your job… you’ll be much happier!
Thank you!! Those days get long, right? Ouch!! Love that I’m actually getting to see my new house.
I left my teaching job in Colorado a year ago to go to grad school full time. The adjustment has always been tough-financially, professionally, and personally. I am fearful that when this spring rolls around and grad school is over that I won’t have a job, when up until last year I had a career straight out of undergrad for almost 7 years straight. It’s so easy to doubt ourselves. I give you so much credit for making it seem like this is all cake. Your right-it isn’t. It’s such an internal struggle. Things will fall into place with your job (if that’s what you want) in the meantime, as I keep telling myself, enjoy this time in your life. Someday you will look back on it with such fondness.
Thank you so much!! Good luck to you also!! I’m sure you will never regret going back to grad school!
a) I love that you named your doggie Pippa Cordelia. b) I love that you continue to call her by her full name in each blog post c) I LOVE your pink apron over your wedding dress…cute much?!?! d) I love this blog post and think you laid out the pros and cons really well, e) I agree that if you can make a one income household work, why not?! working full-time is super over-rated. f) you’re totally right – if you were a SAHM you wouldn’t get as many questions, g) enjoy this time while you have it and h) maybe we can do lunch sometime, or you can bake me something, or both
Oh Kelly.
I started with double names when I was Babycakes’s age. I had a beloved doll named Barbara Jill. We should absolutely get together. I would love that!! I’m planning to invite you to the big party in September!! 
Omg! I can relate- I have a teaching degree and times are very tough and so I’m just working part time jobs for now. It’s seriously my bigges pet peeve when people are like “did you find a job yet?” it makes me cringe!! Others are more crazy about it than I am haha they do mean well but sometimes I’m just like Ahhh ugh!!
You are wonderful!!! Thanks for saying that. It was good to hear. Part-time rocks!!
great blog corrie! youre such a talented writer!
I must say, I am a bit jealous. Ive never likes working. I get to be a stay at home wife in the summers, but seriously get depressed when i have to go back to work. If we could pull it off financially, i would for sure be all in! but like you, i also like working with my kids and want to do something with all this education that I paid for!! 
Exactly!!! I’m so glad I met you… on the internet. I’m sure we’ll meet someday!!
ditto!
i’m not bored either…..some days i wish i didn’t have to do so much! you’ll get the perfect job in His perfect time. jobs are overrated.
You’re overrated. Lol.